I would like to thank the writers and editors of Newsweek. Ever since I realized that watching Disney movies and riding around in a Barbie convertible everywhere wasn’t a feasible option for a life career, I’ve wanted to write and report the news. Now before you jump to conclusions, Newsweek has absolutely nothing to do with this adorable little dream of mine. In fact, I’ve been most inspired by the dedication of small newspapers and big names like Nellie Bly. The Newsweek sitting on my parent’s coffee table the past 22 years of my life has always been something to take advantage of when the St. Pete Times is having an off day or when my frosty beverage is in need of a parking spot.
Whenever I trot down the drive to my mailbox, I muse to myself “what crap is Newsweek writing this week?” Luckily, I am never disappointed. I don’t even need to flip the cover before I feel a tingling sensation rising from my stomach to my throat. Just when I’m on the verge of losing my breakfast, I flip to the cell phone bill. It’s always close.
I probably wouldn’t gag if the magazine had always been the way it is now. The first issue of Newsweek went out in 1933 and has since grown into an internationally known publication. The magazine was a frontrunner in covering issues such as racial segregation and the Vietnam War. It was respectable. So, what I want to know, is what happened?
Yesterday I grabbed the pile of mail out of our box and was astounded at what I saw. There was a picture of Sarah Palin in running shorts looking, well, sexy staring back at me. The headline read, “How do you solve a problem like Sarah? She’s bad news for the GOP- and for everybody else, too.” In small black print at the bottom of the page was this: “A photo taken for Runner’s World, June 2009.”
What??? I don’t particularly care for Sarah Palin, but what??? Is Newsweek even pretending to be reporting fairly and accurately anymore? My first problem is the headline. I almost expected to see diagrams of Palin eating orphaned newborns and puppies on the inside along with sidebars saying things like “Not only has she smoked marijuana, but she inhaled!”
Give me a break. For the love of journalism, MAN UP NEWSWEEK! If you don’t like Sarah Palin, and it’s fine with me if you don’t, then stop giving her press! But putting her on the cover using a picture from Runner’s World to try and discredit her is downright lame. The picture didn’t make me dislike her, it just made me aware that I need to go tanning and probably do a couple crunches.
Idea: why don’t you borrow one of the 11 reporters the AP has trying to find holes in her book? You guys might as well team up on this. Maybe if you put your heads together you can remember what you learned in Ethics 101. If it would help, I still have my book. I’d be happy to UPS it.
So thank you, Newsweek, for helping me realize that, though I would really love to have a job right now, I’d rather freelance and write stories that don’t belong on the cover of In Touch. I suppose this means I’m not among the elite readership that you are now shooting for. But when it comes down to it, if I were given the chance to write a story for you or for Cosmo, I’d stick to Cosmo. At least I wouldn’t be kidding myself about what I was doing. I’d know I was writing trash.